Friday, June 21, 2013

The Night Of The Bad Judgement Calls.

SAW II (2005)
I know how this works. One good horror movie always breeds a shitty horror movie sequel. It's horror movie law. So after thoroughly enjoying Saw (2004), I didn't go into Saw II expecting anything particularly awe-inspiring. However, it does say something about Hollywood's sewage system when Saw, the based-on-a-student-film with a then no-name director and writer, is a solid horror classic and Saw II is just...well. Something that floated up from the depths of the swamp, right next to the Mob Boss Tony's last hit. 

But, like I said, I expected it, and when you know a movie's going to be bad, you generally have a lot more patience for it. So I sat back, let it run its course, and tried not to ask too many questions like: 

  • Why don't they pull the antidote off the dead guy's body? 
  • Why do the hackers take an hour and a half to show up? 
  • Why do they have two inept cops working the case, one of which is very emotionally compromised? 
  • Why are all the people in the death-house insanely stubborn? 
  • I mean, really stubborn?
  • As in: not making any sort of logical decisions at all?

I have to hand it to the detective's son stuck in the room full of poisonous gas with about five other people: at least he didn't do shit. I mean, if poison is seeping into your lungs, I think the smartest thing to do would be to sit still, keep your mouth shut, and try not to breath. Right? So while he was pretty much a pointless pawn character, he was the only one I really had any respect for because he didn't breath like Brainy. How about that? I don't expect a lot of logic from horror movie characters, but it's nice when at least one of them has some sort of method to their madness.

The only thing that gave this movie any sort of street cred was the ending. While it was predictable, I did make an uncontrollable happy-noise when I saw a familiar set, so that was enjoyable. Other than that, I'm slowly (but surely) making my way through this franchise (so if I see spoilers, I might have to don my pig-mask). Saw III review coming soon!

7 comments:

  1. I enjoyed Saw II for what it was. It certainly wasn't as good as the original, but it all goes downhill from here. I stopped watching them after Saw III, that was just terrible.

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    1. That does not bode well for the rest of the series. I'll keep you updated and see how the rest turn out!

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  2. Last time I caught this, it was it the theater with my wife (well, girlfriend ...back then). Anyway, I only remember three things.

    1) While I thought she was enjoying herself, she was terrified. This would be our last horror movie in the theater.

    2) the ending! I left the franchise after this one, but seeing that room again was still very cool!

    3) and finally...THE NEEDLE PIT. Fuck that mess
    actually made me look away.

    Maybe I'll join you for Saw 3 on my blog.

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    1. Took me forever to respond to this, but that is way too brilliant. I feel you on all accounts. Well, except for the terrified girlfriend. Mine's a gorewhore, so she's the one who sat me through this one. But the ending was definitely the highlight of it for me--had to give the shout out to the first one! If you do, let me know!

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  3. Considering the Saw sequels after Saw 2, this is like a god send from the horror gods.

    Just wait until you get to the torture of that dude from Linkin Park...

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    1. Another score against the series! Yeah, I have the feeling I'm just going to have to watch through the series anyway, so we'll see how it goes down!

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  4. I draw-like-a-‘nom-de-plume’ our long-years-of-faith -2- decipher the voracious voracity -2- make a perfectly cognizant, fully-spectacular, Son-ripened-Heaven… yet, I’m not sure if we're on the same page if you saw what I saw. Greetings, earthling. Because I was an actual NDE on the outskirts of the Great Beyond at 15 yet wasn’t allowed in, lemme share with you what I actually know Seventh-Heaven’s Big-Bang’s gonna be like: meet this ultra-bombastic, ex-mortal-Upstairs for the most extra-groovy-paradox, pleasure-beyond-measure, Ultra-Yummy-Reality-Addiction in the Great Beyond for a BIG-ol, kick-ass, party-hardy, robust-N-risqué, eternal-warp-drive you DO NOT wanna miss the sink-your-teeth-in-the-rrrock’nNsmmmokin’-hot-deal. YES! For God, anything and everything and more! is possible!! Meet me Upstairs. Cya soon…

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