Friday, April 6, 2012

"What Kind Of Devil Bird Chirps At Night?"

FAILURE TO LAUNCH (2006)
If there's anything I hate worse than a Matthew McConaughey movie, it's a Sarah Jessica Parker movie. If there's anything I hate worse than a Sarah Jessica Parker movie, it's a poorly written Sarah Jessica Parker romcom with Matthew McConaughey. It was as though someone in Hollywood decided to take everything I hate and crammed it all into one unwatchable 90 minute mess. Failure to Launch is about an unmotivated slacker, Tripp, who lives at home with his parents. Just by his name alone, we can already tell he's going to be obnoxious. The thing is, I don't always hate Matthew McConaughey. I was one of the few people that actually enjoyed Sahara (2005). And I thought he was great in Tropic Thunder (2008). It's just that awful cheesy smile he reserves for the worst kind of romantic comedy that grates on my every nerve. Sarah Jessica Parker is something else. I've never liked her, I never will. It doesn't even have anything to really do with her acting, it's just an irrational gut feeling of revulsion every time I get when I see her. Kind of like a gag reflex. Between the two of them, it was hard for me to watch this movie from between the spaces in my fingers.

The real tragedy of this movie is that the supporting cast isn't that bad. Justin Bartha just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. His comic timing is always spot on, even in subtle ways like The Hangover. Knowing that, it's a little painful to watch him downgraded to slapstick humor. Not that I have anything against slapstick, it's just...hard to watch when it's not really his style. I even enjoyed Zooey Deschanel, even though she only plays...Zooey Deschanel. But she had great chemistry with Justin Bartha and the few redeemable moments of this movie happened within the small subplot of their relationship. In short, those two are the reason why this film has a star at all. Also, a shout out to Bradley Cooper, just because it's fun to watch him alongside his Hangover compadre without them running around like headless chickens going "what happened?". But really, Hollywood. What happened? 

16 comments:

  1. I only watched it to see Terry Bradshaw.
    New follower from Shannon Lawrence's site!

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    1. Awesome! And I'm with you--even if his character was slightly unfortunate.

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  2. Sometimes small statements tell you a lot about a person. When an friend of mine mentioned that "Failure to Launch" was the one romcom that they actually really wanted to see I thought, "Okay, we'll never see a movie together." I'm right with you on Sarah Jessica Parker (and Zooey, although I do kind of like her). Matthew McConaughey is okay in my book, as long as he's not talking.

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    1. Agreed. Completely. If someone came up to me and told me that was in their to-watch list, I would definitely make a note of not watching movies with them. The thing about Zooey is, she just plays Zooey. But it's not that much of an issue since Zooey is a fun ass character.

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  3. I watched failure to launch. It was okay--not a movie I'd watch again though. :)

    Nutschell
    www.thewritingnut.com

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    1. Word. It does not stand up to the rewatch!

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  4. Zooey Deschanel always is herself on the screen. She is the coolest of people and the worst of actresses in this way. I agree about McConaughey in TT he was very funny there, I loved his exchanges with Tom Cruise.

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    1. I couldn't have said it better myself. Zooey is just a fun character, even if it's all the same. TT brought out the best in everyone. Legit. Especially Tom Cruise.

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  5. I need to come here more often.

    That said, this movie sucked a bag of dicks. And that's coming from a guy who actually digs McConaughey (I'm the only person alive who liked Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. True story.)

    Oh, and I saw this mutha theatrically. Yeah. I'm not only old, but apparently, I hate money.

    (this was back when the wife was the girlfriend)

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    1. You are always welcome aboard the madness!

      A bag of dicks was sucked in the making of this movie. And now I have to hear what's so good about Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, because that just sounded like an all around bad idea to me.

      Was the act of buying theater tickets for this one what turned the girlfriend into a wife? Because I think that should about do it.

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  6. Wow - I'm lost here in a sea of unseen now...I hope I've seen something in the next five or so - or these comments are going to seem awfully repetitive...

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    1. Hahaha! Trust me, this is one you should be good about not seeing.

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  7. 1. I for one loved Sahara, and have probably watched it 3 or 4 times now.

    2. Nic Cage has played the same character for almost 3 decades now and it has worked for him. :)

    3. I don't think of actually seen this movie, I always get it's title confused with the movie with Dennis Quaid, where he is in the navy and has like 20 kids who live in a lighthouse.

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    1. 1. A fellow Sahara lover! I definitely watch it whenever it's on TV. Which is basically...all the time.

      2. Good call! And Michael Madsen. Sometimes, typecasting is a good thing.

      3. That description itself is brilliant. I have no idea what the movie is, but I approve.

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    2. I loathe every rom com Matthew has done. He should stick to playing lawyers, which is what he excels at. I feel about Keira Knightly the way you do about SJP. ;)

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    3. I'm with you. Completely. Though I haven't seen Lincoln Lawyer, which I assume you're referring to. And I can feel that, girl has a lot of sharp angles.

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