"But You Ain't Got No Legs, Lieutenant Dan."

FORREST GUMP (1994)

In the spirit of Mother's Day, I decided to do review of my mother's favorite flick, since she's my biggest fan (how she puts up with the crazy shit I write, I will never know). Still, Forrest Gump just happens to not only be her favorite movie, but one of mine as well. It may not be a particularly deep or visceral movie, but it's just really well done. It's an all around good movie--from the period-appopriate music to the balance of history and fiction to the bare bones of the act structure. The best part about it is, it makes good writing look easy. And, yes, it's one of those movies I could probably recite from memory. 

The real appeal of Forrest Gump, when you get down to it, is the fact that it's a very human story. We believe in all the characters as they appear--from the misguided Jenny (Robin Wright) to the bitter Lieutenant Dan (Gary Sinise), it's hard not to love every character that comes on the screen. And the movie does a good job at making sure each character has an arc that they complete, giving the movie a very satisfying feeling. And then, of course, there's Forrest Gump himself. Tom Hanks delivers what is, in my opinion, one of the best narrations of all time, and gives us a character we can't help but fall in love with. Really, who doesn't want to me Forrest Gump's best friend? Then again, it probably helps that he didn't go full retard. 

"Never Fear, Brooklyn Is Here."

NEWSIES (1992)

There is really nothing I don't like about Newsies. It's an underdog story. It's got great choreography and musical numbers. Christian Bale looks like a baby. And best of all, it's set it the best place on earth. New York City. Represent! Newsies is a period piece based off the newsboy strike of 1899. In short, a bunch of young newsboys are tired of getting shafted by the big, bad businesses and go on strike to prove their worth. Complete with ridiculous accents, clever one-liners, and cigar-smoking orphans. It's fun, it's creative, and it's a hell of a catchy tune. Not to mention, it's an epic story. When I say "epic" here, I don't mean, "Whoa, dude, that gnarly wave was epic." I mean it's got the full-on battle with the police, the dance numbers filled with swinging, tapping extras, the whole nine-yards of a grand, musical epic. 

The most impressive part is probably the fact that this movie is chockfull of young faces, yet none of them are annoying. We don't have Anakin Skywalker acting like he's in some cereal commercial. They're all likable kids, not to mention extraordinarily talented. If you're a fan of Christian Bale, you've really got to see him sing and dance his ass off in this one. It will be two hours put to good use. As for the rest of the cast, while the kids are epic, there aren't a lot of names anyone's going to be quick to remember. But we do have a couple well-known adults here, such as Bill Pullman, who I've had a soft spot for ever since Spaceballs (1987). Really, I know he tries to be known as "the president in Independence Day", but he will always be Lone Starr to me. Next up, Robert Duvall makes an appearance, and everyone just loves seeing his face, no matter what role he's in. As for the movie itself, my only real complaint is a contrived romantic subplot thrown in the midst of all that singing and dancing. But I suppose we had to get some boobs in there, or else this would probably be classified as an LGBT film. All in all, excellent movie. So excellent that they've taken it to Broadway, 20 years later. You can bet I'll be waiting in line for that one. That's all I've got for this one, kids, now put an egg in your shoe and beat it. 

"Clever Girl..."

JURASSIC PARK (1993)

When writing a review of Jurassic Park, it's tempting just to write the word DINOSAURS over and over again with a plethora of exclamation marks and call it a night. But Jurassic Park is so much more than just a dinosaur movie. As if it needed to be more! Really. We all would have been plenty happy with watching dinosaurs run around and eat people for a couple hours. You know you've watched those re-imagined dinosaur specials on The Discovery Channel. But here we have flesh-and-blood human characters, a strong script, solid acting, and a soundtrack that will go down in history. Between the swell of the human, the awe on the character's faces, and the vast landscape as they settle their helicopter down onto the island, there's a moment when everyone watching turns into an ecstatic child. Steven Speilberg, you've done it again. 

I could go on about the actors. About how Sam Neill delivers, and Laura Dern is a badass, and Jeff Goldblum is hilarious and classic. About how Richard Attenborough gives us an amazing John Hammond, and Samuel L. Jackson makes a wonderful computer nerd, and even the children are likable. Or I could talk about how epic the music is, how timeless, how John Williams owns it. Hell, I could even mention how awesome the dinosaurs are, how even the special effects stood the test of time. But the real magic of this movie is the beating, bleeding heart of it. All of the characters have very real, very emotion motivations and aspirations. But it's the awe and wonder they feel in the presence of such awesome creatures like the dinosaurs that really brings us back to what's important--nature is a beast. Life will find a way. And dinosaurs are awesome. 

"Still whining, Louis?"

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE (1994)

A confession. I'm a big Anne Rice fan. And when I say "I'm a big Anne Rice fan", I mean "I'm a big fan of her early work, before she rediscovered religion and subsequently fell off her rocker". Not to say there's anything bad about rediscovering faith...it's just that Anne Rice manages to put a psycho crazy spin on everything she does. That aside, Interview with the Vampire is a genuinely good book. It's got a truly creepy gothic tone, it deals with complicated moral issues, and the vampires don't sparkle. If you want a good gothic novel--Dracula style--I'd highly recommend picking Interview up. As for the rest of the series, well, it's enjoyable, but it's also a fascinating peak into the steady decline of Anne Rice's sanity. All that said, I was reluctant to see the movie. Especially with Tom Cruise's name tagged along in it. The skeptic in me told me to stay away, but the curious cat in me had to check it out. And let me tell you: worth it. Ten times over. 

The real master in this movie is Neil Jordan. Hands down. He collaborated with the author to get a good script, and then he delivered. Lord of the Rings aside, Interview with the Vampire has to be the best book-to-movie translation I've ever seen. Forget the fact that he alters a couple scenes--that's expected in these kind of deals. What is really impressive is the fact that Neil Jordan manages to translate the tone of the book. The rich, gothic, New Orleans atmosphere. He nails it. Completely. I've seen movies that have managed to do relatively good successful translations of book-to-movie by simply keeping in as much of the book as they can. And sure, I can respect that. But to capture the actual ambience of the book? The heart and soul of the narration? That's a heavy rabbit to pull of the hat, and Neil Jordan makes it look easy. 

Lastly, of course, I have to give props to the actors. I don't know what it is--maybe it's Neil Jordan being awesome again, maybe it's the 90s, maybe it's just the material--but every one of these actors literally disappears inside their roles. Brad Pitt. Huge name, right? You'd recognize him anywhere. Well, maybe not playing the brooding Louis, with his hopeless, passive attitude towards life and his mournful green eyes. Even Antonio Banderas, despite his accent that always sticks out like a sore thumb, blends in completely with the velvet drapes and haunting candelabras. But, amidst all that talent, there are two actors that really steal the show. Tom Cruise and Kristen Dunst. The last two names you would expect on that list, right? Well, let me put it this way: Kristen Dunst was about 10 at the time, and I still think it was the best role of her career. She's one frightening and manipulative little girl. And Tom Cruise as Lestat? Homeboy nails it. Does it help that the character is narcissistic, arrogant, and controlling? Probably. But it's more than that. Tom Cruise plays the colorful and vibrant exterior of the character...as well as the damaged and insecure interior. The chemistry between Cruise and Dunst is killer. Literally. To wrap this bad boy up: if you're looking for a vampire movie with a little less sparkle and a little more awesome, check this one out. 

Greatest Social Climber Since Cinderella.

EVITA (1996)

One thing you probably don't know about me: I have a very large soft spot for musicals. Blame it on New York and the proximity to Broadway, but there you have it. Another thing you're going to need to know is that I practically grew up on Evita, so like many movies we see and idolize as young kids, this one has a place in my heart. But how could it not? Madonna. Jonathan Pryce. Antonio Banderas (and this is the 90s, so you know he was good). And the music! Even daydreaming about it and I know it'll be stuck in my head for the rest of the week. Oh, right, the plot. That. Here's the thing--I don't know anything about Evita Duarte. Or Argentina in the 1940s. So for all I know, this could be political mashed potatoes. However, Evita still makes a damn good movies about a strong female protagonist with less than savory means of getting exactly what she wants. Love her or hate her, Evita is a compelling character, and Madonna holds her own playing the manipulative leader. Which is impressive, considering the fact that on the other end of the boxing ring stands Antonio Banderas, playing none other than Che Guevara. It's a cast of powerful characters and powerful actors, neither of which are bound to leave your memory any time soon. 

The thing about Evita is that it's an old-school musical/movie. Which means this: they don't pepper in a couple songs here and there when it seems like a good time to sing. The music to dialogue ratio in this film is like putting an elephant up against a mouse--it's just not a fair fight. Some might like that, other might find it out of place--I personally am a sucker for musical movies that don't stop singing. Lastly, I have to give a shout out to Jonathan Pryce. From Brazil (1985) to Carrington and somehow he still lands roles like "the old, boring dad in Pirates Of The Caribbean." He's an extraordinarily talented and underrated actor, and definitely holds his own in Evita. Not to mention, he's got a gorgeous voice. So, if you're looking for a little music in your life and want to learn some history while you're at it, I highly recommend checking this one out. Just don't put it on me if you wake up rolling your rs. 

Made-For-TV Audiobook.

CARRINGTON (1995)

Carrington is not a movie. It may look like a movie, it may talk like a movie, and it may quack like a movie, but it is not a movie. If you treat it like a movie, you'll get impatient, bored, and confused. Its a novel masquerading as a movie. Carrington traces through the lives of two prominent members of the Bloomsbury Group, a sect of British intellectuals in the early 20th century. It follows the story of Dora Carrington (Emma Thompson) who falls in love with author Lytton Strachey (Jonathan Pryce). One problem: Dora is considered something of damaged goods to be a virgin at her age and Lytton is gay. Their marriage is unorthodox from start to finish as they continuously invite others into their house and bed, yet anyone would be hard pressed to find two people quite as devoted to each other as Dora and Lytton. 

The actors hold their own--Emma Thompson is fantastic and plays beautifully off of the brilliant Jonathan Pryce. The script is untamable, but carries a lot of compassion for its main characters who you can't help but fall in love with. As a film, Carrington doesn't hold up well. It's too long, there's not enough plot, and it has the apperance of being all over the place. However, once I settled into the fact that it was more of a novel than a movie, I was able to let the characters run free at their own pace. I put it down for the night when I felt it wearing a little thin, then picked it up and resumed the next day, ready to explore the next chapter of these characters' lives. In short, Carrington is bit of a tedious movie, but a stellar audiobook.