Making Zombies Roll In Their Graves.

WARM BODIES (2013)

There is nothing worse than watching a movie with a truly great concept fall on its ass. It's a little like a getting box of rich, German chocolates only to find that they're covered in homeless man piss. It's not only disappointing; it's offensive. Because now that idea is done and can never be undone and maybe, maybe in ten years if anyone cares enough they'll redo it and try to re-salvage it, but chances are, it's already left such a bitter, acidic taste in everyone's mouth that they really don't want to touch it again. 

Such is the tragedy of Warm Bodies. I loved the concept. Really, I thought the idea of getting inside a zombie's head and watching them come back to life was very clever. And, for what it's worth, the first five minutes of the film delivered on that promise. We got to see him complaining about moving so slow and we got to see him grunting out conversations with his "friend." Everything was moving smoothly...until the movie actually started. I don't know; maybe something got lost in translation in the book-to-movie adaptation. Maybe someone just fell asleep at the wheel. Whatever happened, the movie moved far too fast, couldn't seem to focus on one plot, and didn't give us any real reason to care about the main characters.

To be perfectly honest, the only reason I hung in there was for "M," the zombie friend portrayed by Rob Corddry. His transition, at least, made a little sense and was enjoyable to watch. Other than that, the rest was just some lukewarm Shakespeare retelling with terrible CGI. I don't know why I thought this was a good idea; time to rewatch Shaun of the Dead (2004).

"My Q-Bertese Is A Little Rusty."

WRECK-IT RALPH (2012)

It's been a while since I've laughed this much in a movie theatre. And not just the "haha, everyone around me is laughing so I guess I'll snicker" laugh. A genuine, unflattering bark of a laugh. In a place a least expected it: a child's animated movie. To be fair, something tells me Wreck-It Ralph isn't exactly targeting kids. It's a movie about video-games for video-game lovers, a nostalgic parody of those old school games we once loved. The plot runs like this: Wreck-It Ralph, a video game villain, wants more out of life and starts jumping games to try to win a medal and come back a hero. 

And if you didn't spent the better half of your childhood with a gameboy in hand, don't sweat it--neither did I. Yet I still managed to get most of the references and understood the humor. At the end of the day, it's just a well written, solid script, which seems to be a rarity these days. The characters were great, lovable; the writing was interesting and didn't talk down to its audience; and it was just straight-up fun. Of course, I have to namedrop: we've got a lot of great voice actors in this one. John C. Reilly is Wreck-It Ralph, Sarah Siliverman is the not-so-sweet Vanellope, Jack McBrayer is hilarious as Felix, Jane Lynch is flawless as Calhoun, and Alan Tudyk--yes, Alan Tudyk--makes an appearance as King Candy, though it's near impossible to recognize his voice. In short, I know it's easy to chalk this one up as a "maybe I'll see it, maybe not," but I'm here to tell you the answer is yes. You want to check this one out, if only for nostalgic value. 

"We Thought You Was A Toad."

O BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU? (2000)

Ah, the Coen Brothers. That name is really all you need to say and I'm running to the theaters with my ticket in hand. The Coen Brothers have yet to make a movie that's really bored me to tears. Sure, some are better than others. Some are cleaner than others. But no matter what, they have a knack of making movies that really stick with you. O Brother, Where Art Thou? is a translated version of The Odyssey, featuring three convicts who break out of prison in the 1930s and run away to find an alleged treasure. They meet various folks along their journey, including a man who sold his soul for the guitar, a one-eyed con-man, and Baby Face Nelson himself.

I'll start off with the actors and just say they're all fantastic. George Clooney plays the articulate ring-leader, Everett, and he nails the role. I mean, he's George Clooney. He's always a pleasure to watch. Then we've got the extremely underrated John Turturro, who just looks like he belongs in the wrong end of a jail cell. And Tim Blake Nelson, also underrated, is something of a comic relief as the convict with a heart of gold. It helps that they have a great script to work with, delivering brilliant lines of dialogue one right after the other. Is O Brother, Where Art Thou? problematic as a movie? Sure, the acts don't quite jive, the narrative jumps around a little too much, some solutions are just too "convenient." But have I seen it so many times I can quote it? Yes, yes, I have. If that's not the true testament to a good movie, I don't know what is. 

"What Kind Of Devil Bird Chirps At Night?"

FAILURE TO LAUNCH (2006)

If there's anything I hate worse than a Matthew McConaughey movie, it's a Sarah Jessica Parker movie. If there's anything I hate worse than a Sarah Jessica Parker movie, it's a poorly written Sarah Jessica Parker romcom with Matthew McConaughey. It was as though someone in Hollywood decided to take everything I hate and crammed it all into one unwatchable 90 minute mess. Failure to Launch is about an unmotivated slacker, Tripp, who lives at home with his parents. Just by his name alone, we can already tell he's going to be obnoxious. The thing is, I don't always hate Matthew McConaughey. I was one of the few people that actually enjoyed Sahara (2005). And I thought he was great in Tropic Thunder (2008). It's just that awful cheesy smile he reserves for the worst kind of romantic comedy that grates on my every nerve. Sarah Jessica Parker is something else. I've never liked her, I never will. It doesn't even have anything to really do with her acting, it's just an irrational gut feeling of revulsion every time I get when I see her. Kind of like a gag reflex. Between the two of them, it was hard for me to watch this movie from between the spaces in my fingers.

The real tragedy of this movie is that the supporting cast isn't that bad. Justin Bartha just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. His comic timing is always spot on, even in subtle ways like The Hangover. Knowing that, it's a little painful to watch him downgraded to slapstick humor. Not that I have anything against slapstick, it's just...hard to watch when it's not really his style. I even enjoyed Zooey Deschanel, even though she only plays...Zooey Deschanel. But she had great chemistry with Justin Bartha and the few redeemable moments of this movie happened within the small subplot of their relationship. In short, those two are the reason why this film has a star at all. Also, a shout out to Bradley Cooper, just because it's fun to watch him alongside his Hangover compadre without them running around like headless chickens going "what happened?". But really, Hollywood. What happened? 

"Do You Speak American?"

CASA DE MI PADRE (2012)

This has got to be one of the strangest movies I'm ever going to review. Not because of the movie itself--Casa de mi Padre is a relatively straightforward telenovela parody--but rather because my ultimate feelings about the movie were hard to digest. The premise runs something like this: Armando Alvarez (Will Ferrell) is a cowardly ranchero who must toughen up in order to restore the dignity of his family that has been besmirched by his brother Raul's (Diego Luna) drug business. It also just so happens that Raul is getting married to the beautiful Sonia (Genesis Rodriguez), who is also the niece of the Mexico's rival drug lord, the merciless Onza (Gael Garcia Bernal). While there are a good couple gags, Casa de mi Padre is relatively straight-faced and falls back on cheap sets and unrealistic props to hold up the majority of its humor. We get poorly drawn sets, cheap driving backgrounds, and a stuffed, fake mountain lion.

In short, I didn't find myself laughing out loud very often, but here's the thing--I thoroughly enjoyed the story. While it might not have held up so well as a comedy, in the end, it was just a damn fun movie. It was as though, halfway through, the writers forgot they were writing a comedy and instead decided to have as much fun as they could in the telenovela genre. The action sequences were great, the dramatic, nefarious villains were great, heck, I even enjoyed the music. As for the actors, the main draw of the film for me was not Will Ferrell (even though my affection for him grows a little bit with every new comedy, I still have a snakeskin of unresolved bad movie issues to shrug off), but rather his two supporting players--Diego Luna and Gael Garcia Bernal. I've been looking forward to a reunion of their chemistry since Y Tu Mama Tambien, and they certainly did not disappoint. Both brought hilarious performances to the table, especially the mighty Onza who stole the screen whenever he was in it. My only complaint was that there simply wasn't enough of them--though the one scene they share in a bar is excellent.

I will take the preemptive measure of saying one thing: I have the vague suspicion that this movie will get quite a bit of slack for its portrayal of Mexico. To which I have only one thing to say: it's called Casa de mi Padre and it stars the very America Will Ferrell as "Armando Alvarez". If you can't find anything amusing about that sentence, you might be offended. However, if you enjoyed the likes of Planet Terror (2007) and can stomach a little satire, I recommend checking this one out.

And Don't Call Me Shirley.

AIRPLANE! (1980)

What can I say about this movie except that everything it does it does right? It's thirty-two years old and still one of the funniest comedies of all time. A lot of credit can be given where credit it due--no one can really think about Airplane! without Leslie Nielsen's face coming to mind. His deadpan is hilarious and his comic timing is pure genius. Throw in a dash of Peter Graves and Lloyd Bridges and you've got a stellar cast. But the real heart of this movie is in the script. It doesn't let up on the humor for a second, twisting every line for the end punch. Not to mention the fact that it has a little something for everyone--from classy word play ("A hospital? What is it?" "It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now") to potty jokes ("the shit's going to hit the fan!"). Even if the humor occasionally dates itself, the most prominent example being the "Jive Dudes", watching an old white lady talk "jive" will still never get old. Airplane is truly a comedy classic that will hold up for all time and appropriate for every occasion (except maybe in-flight). Even the kids have something to learn from it, and if you don't believe me, let the movie speak for itself: