"Never Fear, Brooklyn Is Here."

NEWSIES (1992)

There is really nothing I don't like about Newsies. It's an underdog story. It's got great choreography and musical numbers. Christian Bale looks like a baby. And best of all, it's set it the best place on earth. New York City. Represent! Newsies is a period piece based off the newsboy strike of 1899. In short, a bunch of young newsboys are tired of getting shafted by the big, bad businesses and go on strike to prove their worth. Complete with ridiculous accents, clever one-liners, and cigar-smoking orphans. It's fun, it's creative, and it's a hell of a catchy tune. Not to mention, it's an epic story. When I say "epic" here, I don't mean, "Whoa, dude, that gnarly wave was epic." I mean it's got the full-on battle with the police, the dance numbers filled with swinging, tapping extras, the whole nine-yards of a grand, musical epic. 

The most impressive part is probably the fact that this movie is chockfull of young faces, yet none of them are annoying. We don't have Anakin Skywalker acting like he's in some cereal commercial. They're all likable kids, not to mention extraordinarily talented. If you're a fan of Christian Bale, you've really got to see him sing and dance his ass off in this one. It will be two hours put to good use. As for the rest of the cast, while the kids are epic, there aren't a lot of names anyone's going to be quick to remember. But we do have a couple well-known adults here, such as Bill Pullman, who I've had a soft spot for ever since Spaceballs (1987). Really, I know he tries to be known as "the president in Independence Day", but he will always be Lone Starr to me. Next up, Robert Duvall makes an appearance, and everyone just loves seeing his face, no matter what role he's in. As for the movie itself, my only real complaint is a contrived romantic subplot thrown in the midst of all that singing and dancing. But I suppose we had to get some boobs in there, or else this would probably be classified as an LGBT film. All in all, excellent movie. So excellent that they've taken it to Broadway, 20 years later. You can bet I'll be waiting in line for that one. That's all I've got for this one, kids, now put an egg in your shoe and beat it. 

"I Have To Return Some Videotapes."

AMERICAN PSYCHO (2000)

If there's anything I love more than a good bloodbath, it's a murderer lecturing about Huey Lewis and the News before cheerfully slicing an axe through his coworker's head. American Psycho gives us the story of Patrick Bateman, a wealthy New York banking executive who wants nothing more than to wear the best suits and go to the best restaurants and own the best business cards. And if he can do it while slaughtering everyone around him, all the better. It's incredibly dark, never skimps on the blood stains, and is riddled with black humor. The frantic comedy is, above all, what makes this a woefully addictive movie, not to mention the namesake for this blog. With its high body count, twisted humor, and scathing social commentary, it's really everything I want out of a movie. 

Above all, I have to give Christian Bale credit where credit is due for this one. He's churned out some great roles over the past twelve years, but I'd still be hard pressed to find anything that tops the fearlessness with which he dives into Patrick Bateman's spit-shined shoes. I don't know what he's channelling, but it comes across as a mix between Jim Carrey and crack cocaine. His energy is through the roof, but he's more than dancing on his toes--it's the subtle expressions that really nail the character, the desperation with which his psychotic inner demons cling for some kind of control seem ever present in his painfully self-aware mask. As for the other characters, he definitely has a terrific supporting cast. Willem Dafoe can't seem to shake his detective's badge, but who would really want him to when he pulls it off so damn well? Jared Leto pulls off a great sleazy business man, and even Reese Witherspoon, a hit and miss (and mostly miss) actress delivers a great, solid performance, no doubt courtesy of the brilliant script. If you've got a sweet tooth for the unapologetically morbid, I highly recommend this bad boy.